Eff. UFC.

I had the worst night yet last night. It was UFC, but it wasn't a very important fight (so I hear), so it was busy, but no lines out the door or anything. I had the worst section on the floor because I had second to last pick, but my manager had already put me down for that one so I just said I'd take it. I didn't really care.

My first two tables were nice enough. Two guys who bought a shirt, and an older couple who left me a 50% tip. It all went downhill from there though.

At some point, I had a younger couple who were very nice. The woman told me about how she knows what it's like to live off tips because she was a server, blah blah blah. Then they left a crappy tip. Thanks, dbags!

It didn't get busy until later, but once it did, I wanted to kill myself (and my tables). I had an 8-top that just wanted to throw back drinks, and got mad when I cut one of them off (He TOLD me he was drunk. Moron). Plus, after cuts, four girls were gone and I had twice as many tables as I started with, all of whom had been there drinking who knows how much for who knows how long and I pretty much ignored them. I had a table of regulars I didn't get to spend a lot of time with because they weren't even in my section, but their waitress was puking her brains out in the bathroom because she's preggo. I took over another girl's table too after she was taking forever to greet them and they found me first. Even after I put in their drinks, one of them actually TAPPED ME ON THE SHOULDER WHILE I WAS TAKING SOMEONE'S ORDER AT ANOTHER TABLE. How. Rude.

None of those were the worst table of the night though, not by a long shot. The worst was this group who came straight from the Hillbilly Parade, and they showed up about half an hour before closing. Ugh. They were complaining from the very beginning. They wanted to sit at a table that was already sat, the people were playing pool though. Complain some more. They sat across from it (they wanted to be there to be by their friends they never even interacted with - and the friends were jerks too). I pretty much let one of the other girls run the table, because I could tell they were going to be irritating (my manager confirmed it later, they come in whining on the regular). I put in their drinks after she took the order, and I took the food order. They ordered 50 wings. Plus the women ordered all sorts of crap they weren't going to touch. 50 wings 30 minutes to close. Eff them in the mouth.

After all the food was delivered, I mostly ignored them. I was dealing with the table of Alcy's, who tipped surprisingly well considering the mom was shooting me death glares for cutting off her baby boy). The other waitress checked on the food, yadda yadda yadda.

Fast forward to five minutes after one. That's right, CLOSED. Guess who's still there, chatting away? Yeah, the table of 10. I go over to see how things are going and this is the exchange that followed:

"Can I get some more tea?"
"I'll check. I'll be back in just a minute" I go and see that the tea container has been moved because LAST CALL WAS 20 MINUTES AGO.
"Sorry, the tea has been brought back for the night."
"Get me a water then."
"I'm sorry, the spouts on the soda machines have been brought back, too. But I can bring you tap water if you like."
"Yeah, water. With lemon."
"The lemons have been thrown out."
"Do y'all just throw out everything as soon as you're closed?!"
"Well, yes."
(Another hick) "Well you should let somebody know!"
"We did last call 20 minutes ago."
"Well we didn't hear it!"
"We sang a song in the front of the room."
"Don't you hear how noisy it is back here?!!"

Somehow, they were the only ones who didn't hear us shout the last call song, not that it matters because we were CLOSED. They hung out until 1:30 before leaving. I went home and dreamt about throwing a pen at someone and getting fired.